I recently watched two intriguing films about complicated father-son relationships. I would recommend both films; I think they'd be especially enjoyed by anyone who has had experience caring for an elderly parent.
The first is 1970's
I Never Sang for My Father, which recently aired on Turner Classic Movies. It's a serious drama that explores the themes of aging and death. Gene Hackman plays a widower who wants to move out of state and remarry. He's torn between moving and staying to care for his elderly father played by Melvyn Douglas.
Melvyn Douglas' character is a stubborn and proud man. We learn he used to be a politician and was very well-known at one time. He's the kind of man that will talk your ear off. Now in his 80s and a widower, he has very few friends, and often falls asleep watching westerns on TV. He's not entirely sympathetic - we learn he and his daughter (Estelle Parsons) are estranged because of his disapproval of her husband. And he treats Hackman like a child, and keeps making him feel guilty by saying, "I don't know what I'd do without you".
The movie has two sequences that I've rarely seen in the movies. One scene shows Hackman and Douglas shopping for funeral caskets (for Hackman's mother who just died). Another scene shows Hackman visiting different nursing homes to see if they would be right for his dad. He sees many lonely people by themselves, and he's filled with so much guilt.
It's a very quiet film, and really makes you think about these people, particularly Hackman's character, and how he handles the cards he's been dealt.
The other film is a bit more lighthearted: last year's
Nebraska (2013), which is a quirky - and occasionally raunchy - comedy starring Bruce Dern as an elderly man suffering from early stages of dementia. His character is very different from Melvyn Douglas'; Dern is much more of an "average guy", and is much more of a quiet man who doesn't talk much.
But Dern is stubborn nonetheless - and is determined to claim a winning sweepstakes prize in Nebraska. His son is played by Will Forte and the two men go on a road trip to claim the prize. I really enjoyed these scenes of the two men bonding. At one point they visit Mount Rushmore and Dern is unimpressed. Then the best part of the film has the two pass through Dern's old hometown in Nebraska, where they meet many of his old friends including Stacy Keach, who teases him about the prize. There's even an old flame of Dern's that Forte meets, which makes him see a different side of his father.
The movie kept me in suspense to find out what happens at the end when they try to claim the prize. I was very pleased with the outcome of the movie, and I felt uplifted and inspired at the end.
Both movies have elements that reminded me of people in my own family and real life situations.
