On Golden Pond (1981)

On Golden Pond is a film that I never thought I would enjoy watching because as a young person, I never thought I could identify with the characters or story. But in recent months I've been seeking out films dealing with reconnecting with one's parents, as I've been faced with reuniting with my own birth-father after many years of estrangement (this may likely be a topic of another blog post or two in the future...). My reunion experience has been difficult for me to discuss with other family members; it was a very emotional experience. I have an older relative who has expressed disagreement with me reconnecting with my birth-father because of his abandonment of my mother and I. The difficulty I've had with communicating with certain family members has made me feel as if there's something wrong with me, and that I'm the only one who has trouble communicating with family members; this personal experience has affected me so much that I've even had to take some time off from blogging for a long time as well.

I knew of some of the main themes of On Golden Pond, including reconnecting with your elderly parents/relatives, but it's only been in recent days that I felt ready to watch the film.

The main character, Norman Thayer, played by Henry Fonda, has a cranky, stubborn, and blunt personality that rubs people the wrong way; that becomes clear as we see him interact with several characters at the start of the film. For many of us, if we meet someone like that, we might likely not want to be friends with them. However, one person who loves him dearly is his devoted wife of over 40 years played by Katherine Hepburn. Her character is very interesting and ultimately inspiring because she demonstrates by example how to have to patience with him, and we understand through her character that the Fonda character has flaws, and is not perfect. He's having memory problems, and is slowing down, and at one point almost accidentally burns their New England summer cottage down, their cottage on the lake "Golden Pond". I have relatives that live near a lake in suburban Chicago, and it's not too unlike Golden Pond, so I could imagine what life is like for the characters.

The other characters in the film all have to deal with Norman in their own way, including his daughter Chelsea (Jane Fonda), who is very busy with her career in Los Angeles yet finds the time to come to visit her parents at the cottage after many years. After she arrives, Norman, always an overbearing father, makes her feel like a child again. I've felt the same way when I visit older relatives. I have a relative who is 87 and can say some embarrassing and hurtful things, and can make me feel like a child at holiday gatherings.

There's a poignant scene in the film where Chelsea has a heart-to-heart talk with her mom, saying how she wishes to be friends with her father, and wishes they could be more compatible. But her mom reminds her that Norman is a man of 80 years old, and that we need to accept him as who he is and tries to encourage her to not be so disagreeable with her past. "Life goes on", she says. "Get on with it."  It's a reminder to me when I relate to my own older family members, as their personalities are theirs and will not change.

There's also a great sequence in the film where Norman takes Chelesa's soon-to-be-stepson out on the lake to go fishing, and they have a great time trying to catch a legendary elusive fish. Norman isn't really such a bad guy after all; he's really a hero to the members of his family.

I was really amazed to learn that the film (and the play it was based on) was written by a young man (Ernest Thompson) who was in his 20s at the time. That's fascinating to me because the characters are much older, and complex.

All of the characters in On Golden Pond are ones I could either identify with or are ones that remind me of real people in my own life, and after watching the film I now feel as if I'm not alone in my familial plight. For these reasons, I consider the film to be a very inspirational one to me personally, and I hope you have a chance to enjoy it sometime too if you haven't seen it.